Davins Comedy Blog

THE RACE TO THE END PART 5 HOMELESS - BY JOE CURRIE (Davin's Den)

When I left off in part four Joe’s girl and I pulled away in a red rape van from the only place I called home since I was five. I was starting the next chapter in my life and it was starting now.
First I have to unload my day to day belongings that I had in the van to a storage unit I got in my home town.

The place was nice enough but their common sense had a lot to be desired. My unit was on the second floor and Joe’s girl and I just put the first load in a cart to bring up in the elevator.
While we are in the elevator the facility manager comes over and tells us that the elevator will be shut down for the night for maintenance. I ask what time? He tells me six o’clock. That’s nice its TEN MINUTES TO SIX!!!! We had to hump the rest of my stuff up two flights of stairs because the elevator is now down. The place closes at nine pm they couldn’t wait another three hours.

After that debacle Joe’s girl and I get dinner and I have to address one big issue, where the hell I am staying and for how long??

Unfortunately I can’t stay with Joe’s girl, I go to the hotel by the diner we were at and they want $150.00 per night, I will pay that on vacation, I will pay that in bad weather on the road or a break down in an emergency, but I’m not paying that to stay four miles from my old house and by the Long Island Expressway.

I found a place to stay that night that was a little less but I felt I could do better and went looking for another place the next day. I discovered that with a weekend coming up these places will gouge you to no end. I am not going to spend a hundred forty dollars a night and then wake up open the shades and see a target store.    

I did find a motel in town that was safe, clean, reasonably priced, and the best part one hundred and thirty seven steps away from a sports bar, I know because I counted, many times.
Two questions you may ask didn’t I buy a house? And why didn’t I stay at the compound?
Well here is the deal, the women who I was buying my house from had a lawyer that was not a real estate lawyer and did not know what he was doing, plus he was in the middle of moving as well.

The bottom line was this, I was out of my old house on June 15th, and the seller’s lawyer was going away on July 1st for two weeks. If I did not lock down a closing date I would be technically homeless for almost three weeks.

I was invited to stay at the compound but I did want to until I could let Anthony know for how long.

Its weird staying in a motel in your home town, it’s like you are on the road but you will never get home sick. It was frustrating living day to day out of a suit case staying in a hotel and if I have to go to band practice I have to go seven miles away to a storage unit to get my keyboards instead of just walking into my garage. The sports bar was a nice oasis in all of this as I would sit, drink Blue Moons and Jack Daniels and watch the regulars sing karaoke and some of them were pretty good.

I also am a princess and have not had to go to a laundromat since I was living in Maine years ago. I had to go during this transition period and it will be the last time, but if I do I will learn to say “That’s my basket” in Spanish however  I will beat my clothes against a rock in a stream before I ever go again.

Low and behold I got my closing date of June 28th which means I will be in my new house for the July fourth weekend. It also means that now that I know the date I can be compound bound which was great because it was my home away from home.   

The closing day came and we were all there at two pm, except for the seller’s lawyer who wanted to not ruin his streak being a fuckup and arrived almost an hour and a half late. After signing my life away I am now the owner of my new home.


After the closing I started to bring stuff from the storage unit out to the new place.it felt good to take a shower in my new place as well and I was about to go to bed when I discovered there was no bed  and I would have to drive forty five minutes back to the compound to go to sleep uugh. All that’s left to do is move in and that will be fun so stay tune for part 6.
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