Davins Comedy Blog

MY SCAMMER SHANNON - By Joe Currie (Davin's Den)

                                           
As one of our calling cards with our show is scamming you have your radar are on when one tries to contact us and this is the story of Shannon Thomas. 
Shannon added you on Messenger.
Shannon is waving at you!
is she !!!!!
Shannon:
Hello Joe
You accepted Shannon's request.
Of course I did because it is time to have some fun
Shannon:
How are you?
Shannon
Hello Joe
Pushy bitch isn’t she but a key tell tale sign of a scammer as they tend to be aggressive.
Joe:
Do I know you?
Shannon:
I just sow your profile as suggestions friends and I decided to say hell to you.
She wanted to say “hell” to me. Another key sign she is a scammer is they can’t spell and another are how many friends and we have no mutual friends on Face book.
Joe:
Is that your profile photo?

Shannon:
Yes
She has only three and I can guarantee they are not hers I wanted to quiz her on this to see if she may have a hint that I am on to her but she doesn’t take the bait as you will see

Shannon:
How are you doing today?

Joe
Good how are you, are you from NY?
Time to see where they are from, a lot of times they are from another country or have relocated here.
Shannon:
Am fine  Am from UK.
I currently live Houston Texas and you
Bingo, and she writes like the robot from lost in space with no inflection.
Joe:
I am from NY, I ask because a lot of people write me from Ghana for some reason
I’m giving her a chance to cut and run but she is staying.
Shannon:
Okay
The one point I thought she may be real as she seemed to be taken aback from my question. We continue.
Shannon:
What are you doing for a living?
Bad grammar and she is sizing me up to see if I may be a cash cow.

Joe:
I am a comic, and you ?
Letting her know I am poor with no prospects because that’s a comic and I want to see what her deal is.
Shannon:
Am a hair stylist.
Are you single? Do you have kids?
You’re also a bullshit artist. She is asking to see if am married and have kids to see what my status is as alone and no kids means vulnerable.
Joe
Separated no kids and you ?
Shannon
Am single no kids
Maybe I will scam her-LOL
Joe
How long were you married?
Shannon
Am not married
Several days later she writes back
Shannon:
How are you?
Joe
Good, how is everything at the hair Salon?
Wanted to see if I could trip her up on the job thing


Shannon:
Fine, What do you have for me today?
What do I have for you today??? Fuck you who are you Davin waiting for a show project!!!
Joe:
And what would you be looking for???
Shannon:
Looking to find the right person to create a family together. Someone who puts relationship above everything else. Keep in mind that relationship is a FULL TIME JOB
And her she is trying to reel me in with the relationship angle as she knows I am alone and why is full time job in caps?? Does she know my estranged wife, and I ask her.
Joe:
Coming out of a divorce I feel the same. I see you put full time job in caps, were you in a bad relationship?

Shannon:
Yes I exboyfriend cheated on me
Probably wanted somebody with good grammar.
Joe:
That’s a shame, how long were you dating for?
Shannon:
3years, what about you

Joe:
24 years

Shannon:
Wow that’s a very long time
Yeah no shit lady
Joe
Tried to keep it going for all those years and then there was one day in 2011 when I realized it was over very sad
Throwing a little truth into the mix
Shannon:
You just have to move on with your life, and start all over again with a good woman
Stupid is now putting out the bait again

Joe:
Yes just getting over the heart break and will be searching

Shannon:
Same here, We have same things in common

Joe:
Well hopefully I will find someone
Shannon:
Same here.
So, do not apply if you are not ready as you may hurt you or someone else in the process. Keep it real and simple. Commitment in the relationship is a must for me. I am long term relationship oriented. But the chemistry needs to be there of course.
Do not apply??? You wrote me stupid, another heavy handed tell tale sign of a scammer.
As you can see we both have our lines in the water now.

Shannon
What are seeking for in a relationship?
Joe:
Chemistry and someone to be a best friend too.

Shannon:
I'm Looking For Sincere, creative, guy with a sense of humor. Fortunate to have good health, work I believe in, and loved ones I value. Active, friendly, flexible though my pictures might give you an impression of profound square-ness.
Really, square-ness?? her profile picture would give Kaitlin Jenner a rod.

Shannon:
What do you do for fun

Joe:
I am a very big into anthropology

Shannon:
Okay,
I love watching football,table tennis and I love reading,cooking and do house work I hang out with my friends and love going out for Shopping.
I like anthropology; you wouldn’t ask me some questions. Curious to see what her football team is
Joe:
What is you favorite football team?
Shannon:
Arsenal in English premier league.
Once again a transplant and suspicious
Joe:
I like American football, Jets fan
I want to show her I am pathetic
Shannon:
Hello joe
Let’s have some fun now
Joe:
How are you today, I have the flu, slept for twelve hours yesterday, feels lonely in bed sick and nobody around. but it is what it is

Shannon:
Oh sorry Wish am there to help you out
Do you?? Wish am,, stupid scammer lets really turn on the jets we go to a couple of days later
Shannon:
How are you?
Joe
Hi, I am writing from the hospital, I was an sick that I had an episode with my breathing due to the flu that I called an ambulance and I have been in the hospital since two for observation, they are keeping me overnight and they think I may have an upper respiratory infection or maybe pneumonia. Feeling very week now, I have to go

Shannon:
Okay joe, Don’t worry, you will be okay soon.
That’s it? She has the compassion of an SS officer—or a scammer

Shannon:
Hello joe
Hope you are getting better

Joe:
A little, I was on a ventilator most of the night. How are you today? How is work?

Shannon:
Fine,
Are you still in the hospital?
No asshole I’m in the supermarket
Joe:
Yes, I may be hear for a while and am still on the ventilator,Joe
I mean be here, the medication has me all woozy

Shannon:
Okay, I pray you get better soon.
Well your prayers aint working

Shannon:
Hello joe

Shannon
Hello joe


Joe:
Hello, the past several days were not good. I was in a coma as my breathing was so bad. They also told me that I was dead for about a minute. And I believe it as a felt my body leave and I saw my Mom and Jesus. When I leave the hospital I am going to serve God. Are you religious?
Shannon
Yes.... I’m religious
After all of that, that’s her answer.

Joe
Good morning, feeling a little better today and I know it was because the hand of the lord touched me. what religious faith are you?

Shannon:
Baptist Church,When are you going to leave the hospital

Joe:
Another three days, please pray for me

Shannon
I always pray for you cus you are good care friend,.
Don’t worry.... you will be fine.
I pray you will learn to spell someday “cus” also friend you have known me for two weeks.

Shannon:
How are you doing now

Shannon:
Hello joe How is your health

.
Now I’m laying it on thick
Joe:
Not good, I lapsed back into a coma and I crossed to other side for a minute and I felt peace and no pain and then a powerful but friendly voice told me I had to go back. I am tired and may have scar tissue in my lungs, sorry I need to go back to sleep
Shannon:
Okay dear... I will talk to you later
And you will be stupid

Shannon:
Hello
I’m playing hard to get

Shannon
Hello joe, How is your health

Joe:
Not good, still in the hospital and it has been touch and go, even worse while I was in the second coma I had a blood clot and got gangrene in one of my legs and they had to amputate it I WOKE UP WITH ONE LEG. I am devastated. The only thing that is getting me through this is my loss every of the lord and trusting him that taking the leg was a good thing. I am still upset as I used to love to dance and those days will be no more. May get out Tuesday. I’m sorry the pain killer is taking effect and I have to go

Shannon:
Okay joe,
I pray you recover soon
After all that that’s all she has to say. She has not written me back since and who knows if she will but she displayed all the signs of a scammer and I had fun driving her nuts. But if you have a friend or a relative that gets messages like this please, tell them to stop corresponding immediately as the results will not be funny but devastating or deadl
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