Davins Comedy Blog

NINE WEEKS IN - By Davin Rosenblatt



I am in the middle of my ninth week of the 21 Day Fix workout program. They call it 21 Day Fix because after 3 weeks it all just repeats. I don’t know, I am not paying very close attention to be honest. I just know every day of the week is a different work out. So for instance every Monday is something called full body cardio which means cardio with weights. Ugh. There is a meal plan and shakes (which I have mentioned previously). So how am I doing?

I don’t do the meal plan. Haven’t even looked at it. I am eating less and drinking less.  I figure that would be part of meal plan. I am having much less ice cream. I figure that would be encouraged. I have replaced my morning Pop Tart with their shake. The shake is pretty filling and I was never much for breakfast anyway. My appetite has shrunk.  I will eat a meal and think I have stuffed myself to the gills and then later look on the scale and realize apparently I did not eat that much. So my own food strategy is at least having the effect of me eating less.

Now there have been a few occasions when I went off the eating reservation. When you go to a Bobby Flay restaurant you are going to eat. It is expensive and more importantly it is delicious. I did show restraint and have only one Mojito. I wanted another but I am trying. I also did not finish my dessert. It was great. I was stuffed. In the old days I would have powered through and finished it. I left it there to melt. Yay for self- restraint but boo for the loss of deliciousness. That meal fit for a king cost me a week’s worth of weight loss. One damn, beautiful, calorie packed, sumptuous meal.
During the course of the 21 days they want you to increase from one 30 minute work out a day to two 30 minute workouts a day. Listen, if I wanted to spend an hour working out I would not have picked the 30 minute work out program. I also would not pay for a gym membership I haven’t used in years. I don’t have time nor desire for that. I know I am cheating myself. I cheated myself in Spanish class too by passing and not really learning. It’s ok, I’m fine with it.

As I have mentioned before, I have done other weight loss programs. The most recent ones have been eating programs where to be honest I lost a couple of pounds a week. The ones with pre-made meals were the easiest. I know people say it is a lifestyle change. For me once I hit my goal weight I did not eat according to the program. Because…cake. Because pizza. Because ice cream. Because anything yum. They made me thinner which was awesome but there was no weight training. I eventually gained all the weight back and more.

I do not like the daily work outs. They are not getting easier. They are not fun. Fun is playing ball. Fun is watching a movie. Burpies are never fun. Full body plank is never fun.  I still curse at Autumn (the trainer) when she says “let’s do a bonus round.” Bonus round means more pain but I do the damn bonus round. I do it all some days better than others. I don’t do the yoga on Sunday. I go for a walk on those days. Me, the hills, and my music. It makes me happy and I am not just lounging eating pancakes.

So what are the results with my half-assery of kicking my ass into shape?  I am averaging about a pound of weight loss a week. My pants are looser. I am wearing shirts I have not worn in a while. My face does not look as fat in pictures. I have my American Greed appearance on TV coming out next month and I know I will look huge unfortunately. My stomach is a bit flatter. I still have much more to lose in the tummy.  This work out is very core intensive so I know I will continue to lose weight there. It is also very shoulder intensive which will broaden me out and make me look thinner than I am.  I get frustrated that the pounds are not falling away quickly. I, like many of us, like instant gratification. This work out, the half ass way I am doing it, does not give that. The way I am doing it this is more of a body shaping program and in that regard I think it is working. I have a long way to go and I would much rather eat cake but 30 minutes of pain daily for a pound a week while body shaping seems to be a fair trade.  Just once I want Autumn to say, “how about a bonus round of cake.”
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