Only Fans model, Steph Oshiri, has a 55 inch booty. Her booty is not just a show booty but a work booty. She smuggles bottles of booze in between her cheeks into concerts and bars. There is a lot to unpack here, including bottles of hooch apparently.

First I do not know the official way to measure a booty but I have a 50 inch tv and that is pretty big. That is over four feet of booty. Maybe she can fit feet in her booty. I am wondering if not only could we sneak snacks into the movies with her butt but if we could watch movies on her butt.

I know people like to sneak treats into ballgames and movie theaters. With the prices of concessions I completely understand. However, sneaking Milk Duds in a purse is one thing. Eating treats from a booty is something else. I mean I would think chocolate would melt. Given the region we are talking about I think it is safe to assume most of would not initially think it was chocolate.

I feel bad for Steph because somewhere in her head she probably wonders if her friends like her for who she is or if they like the fact that her backside doubles as a concession stand. I do wonder how she first discovered this talent. Was it a dare? Was she bored at home? Did she accidently misplace a bottle of liquor only to later discover she accidently sat on it?

Who is the first friend to drink from that bottle? Who says yeah I want to butt chug? Is it wrong of her friends to ask her to sneak things in her butt? Maybe we all need a friend to smuggle treats in their backside.

Can she smuggle these bottles through TSA? I mean she is not packing these bottles. They are in her. We are all made of mostly liquid anyway.  Should this be a new game show called “Pack That Butt!” Maybe contestants could guess how many items can be feet in between two large cheeks.

Is she taking advantage of her talents or is she demeaning herself? Ultimately. I think that is for her to decide. Still, it says something about society that this is a news story in a newspaper. Do we love stupid human tricks? Maybe this is the best life hack ever. Maybe we all have this talent but she is one of the few who has harnessed it. Maybe she is the best of us. Maybe I should stop writing this and see what I can stick up my butt. See you guys on Only Fans or if not on Davin’s Den on Tuesday night at 6:30 PM Est. I’ll be the one who can’t sit down.

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