I am not even suppose to be writing this today. Well initially I was but when my web guy could not get my Tuesday radio show online yesterday I figured I would post that today and do my blog tomorrow. Tomorrow’s blog was suppose to be about our upcoming 100th show. Funny thing happened, the server is giving my web guy all sorts of troubles so the shows are not online. None of them. My web guy told me I need to have content for the website so I should blog and try to put things online as much as possible. So here we are. I am giving you content. Not the content I intended as this seems more pressing. Why is everything pressing?
Funny thing is my life is probably a lot like your life, over flowing with content. Here is what I am responsible for: Being a dad…gotta get the kid off the bus and make sure she does her homework. Being a husband…gotta make sure once the kid is off the bus I load her in the car so we can drive down to NJ to meet the wife at the mechanic and leave one of the cars to be fixed. Don’t ask why our mechanic is in NJ when I live in NY. Owner of my company Side Splitting Productions…just booked 3 comedy shows that need to have the talent hired and the promotional material prepared and mailed. Public Speaker…yeah I almost forgot about that one too. Next Thursday I am speaking at the JCC about things that are offensive and I have not looked at the presentation in months. I am sure I am going to want to make changes and edits. I know I need new video and audio clips. It would be nice if I remembered what I was talking about. Radio show host…we have our 100th show coming up next week. People want some best of clips. Can’t have Joe do it because he is working on scammer clips and he is working down the Jersey shore all week. Guess who will be trying to do that? Also, need to find stories for worst Dad’s for the Father’s Day countdown. Also, trying to get interviews for that show. I need to generate new content and review and edit old content. Also, trying to get myself booked on morning shows. Wait, I have a PR firm at my disposal. Aren’t they suppose to do that? Well yes and hopefully they will but until my calendar gets filled with them it is up to me to get the word out about my show. And as anybody who has people working for them knows, even if you have people working for you, things still need to be monitored. And finally I am a comedian…that is the job that pays the bills. Right now it is not doing a good job of that because I have been working on so many other things. The calendar is barren in parts. I need to find comedy work. That takes time, and patience, and a certain amount of drugs so as not to strangle somebody. Thank goodness I am not doing the public announcing for the Newark Bears this week. I’d probably announce somebody from the wrong team…again. Of course next Thursday after my public speaking appearance I need to race home, get my daughter off of the bus just so I can take her to karate and then host game night at Arturo’s.
How did our lives get so filled? Why do I yearn to just plant some corn & milk a cow instead. This is stressful. I don’t even have a smart phone. If I did imagine how much more work I could get done. Imagine how much more stuff I could cram into every moment of the day.
Free time? Free time is for the dead or the homeless. I mean really how much multi-tasking is going on why you are pan handling? Hold cup, ask for stuff, make sure your well fed pet does not run away. I could certainly manage at least two of those things at once. Look at me, slacking by typing this. Am I cheating on you by typing this and thinking what else I need to do while I type this? Do you care? What else are you doing while you read this? Hey! I see you! Close that porn site while you read this. Nevermind, I need the web hits. Carry on. Of course if I get more web hits that means I need to provide even more content so you keep coming back.
I am fried. You should listen to my radio show, see me perform comedy live, hire my company for your special event, hear me at a Bears game, hear me give pearls of wisdom as a public speaker, and win fabulous prizes when I host game night. Yeah, you should fill your calendar with my stuff. That way you can understand what I am going through. Not everybody has the opportunity to read blogs at their leisure you freakin slacker!
I am sorry. I don’t mean it. Come back, please. Dammit!!! I pissed you off. Now I have to figure out something new to do to make you love me and keep me in the public eye. I’m exhausted. I need a nap. Bet I dream of things I need to do.