I get asked that from time to time and the short answer is no. Not everybody is funny. Not everybody who is funny around family and friends can make that translate to a group of strangers on command. Funny is subjective anyway so who really knows what funny is? We know what we find funny. If enough other people find what we find funny then maybe it is funny but I guarantee you somebody else will not find it funny. So no I can’t make you funny.
If you have no sense of humor then how could you possibly know what is funny? If you are the only one who thinks that you are funny and nobody else laughs then it is very hard to dial you into what a good number of other people find funny since you don’t see the humor in that at all. I don’t know if being funny is a gift from a creator or if certain atoms aligned in funny people’s brains that all funny people have in common. I am unaware of a humor gene though we all know whole families that are funny. Chances are if you are exposed to enough funny growing up it will rub off but maybe not. My daughter doesn’t find me funny at all and I am funny for a living. My daughter is occasionally funny. Maybe her friends think she is funny. My wife is funny. She makes me laugh. She makes her friends and family laugh. She has no desire to make strangers laugh.
If you do have a sense of humor I can help you delve into that and see if we can introduce strangers to your world. I can make you translate to strangers. I can help you write for your sense of humor. I can help you learn how to edit for your sense of humor but you must have a sense of humor to begin with or I just can’t make you funny.
I have seen some people try their hand at comedy for fifteen, twenty, years or longer and never get funny. They work with various writers and comedy teachers paying thousands of dollars along the way. At the end they are still doing 10 minutes at an open mic getting mostly a few chuckles and some pity laughs. Did all those teachers and writers they worked with stink? No. However, the “student” they were working with is just not funny. Maybe somebody should have said to the guy or gal that this is a waste of money and they are not funny but that is a hard conversation to have. Being funny is deeply personal to some people. It is who they see themselves as even if the rest of us do not. It is like telling somebody who fancies themself to be a hero in between the sheets and then you sleep with them and the experience is bony grinding, random teeth, an odd odor, and a bit too much saliva. Not many of us would have the heart to tell them it ain’t working. Most of us would lie and say it was great. A few would say dryly it was ok. Much less would ask if they were humping you or going into convulsions.
So no I can’t make you funny. I can only enhance what ability you already have. Anybody who says they can make you funny is most likely lying or delusional. Either way, they want something from you and it probably isn’t good karma. You have a much better chance of learning how to be good in bed then you do of learning how to be good on stage.