Daniel Tosh, the OUTRAGE!!!!….by comics.

So as many of you know famous comedian Daniel Tosh was trying to illustrate how anything can be viewed as funny and he used rape as an example.  An audience member complained.  Tosh responded with wouldn’t it be funny if she (the offended audience member) got raped by 5 guys right now.  Audience member walks out.  Complains.  Gets refund.  Blogs about experience.  Tosh tweets an apology of sorts.  Comedians cry at the horror of this audience member being offended and blogging about it.  “She should know better.”  “She doesn’t get it.”  “The critics of Tosh have no idea what real comedy is.” Yada yada yada.

Who cares!!!!  We’ve seen this story before.  Michael Richards, Tracey Morgan, etc.  What comics fail to realize is that the same rules apply to them.  If somebody bitches at the 100 seat comedy club you just performed in, even if 99 people loved you chances are you are not coming back.  It happens in every city to nobody comics like me all the time.  When we roll into said club we hear the stories and just tell the owner who is telling us the story that it was really dumb of “unnamed road comic” to call that drunken heckler a dumb cunt.  We sure won’t make that mistake.  And we don’t.  Because we need to work.

Somehow comics are stunned when it happens to a celebrity comic and are outraged but willingly go along with editing ourselves all the time.  Guess what.  There are consequences to what we say.  Freedom of speech is not absolute.  Tosh will be fine.  He will be better then fine.  I mean he will probably feel a little bad if this woman does get gang raped but then he’ll go on CNN and talk about it and get more popular. 

When I am on stage I push the envelope but at this point I pretty much know how far I can go without running into problems.  Not all the time but most of the time.  When I do my podcast Davin’s Den (which you should be listening to) I say terrible things.  I have made fun of autistic children, homosexuals, routinely make fun of how my people (Jews) were almost exterminated by the Nazis and more.  Others on my show have made fun of African Americans, Chinese, etc.  You get the point.  First we are off the grid so to speak.  We are not getting major coverage so we can say what we want.  If you listen to the show you know that we are kidding (for the most part).  If/when we go back to terrestrial we will toe the line.  We will still say terrible things in the name of comedy but we know how to play the game.  And when we get yanked off the air for saying something terrible we will still collect our money.  Our status in the industry will grow.  We will go back on the air and promise to be good and relapse again. Rinse repeat.  Our fans will both be riveted by our balls and outraged that the man is keeping us down.  At the end of the day at that level everybody is a slave to the corporate overlords.  Why?  Because money pays the mortgage and freedom of speech can’t sign a check.

Listen comics, you can’t control this.  Once the comedy clubs stopped looking at comedy as an art and instead as a way to boost liquor sales it was over.  It was over for a nobody like me.  It was over for a somebody like Tosh.  You can’t fight it.  Sure you can continue to talk about rape at the Wednesday open mic.  You can continue to make no money in comedy and call yourself a rebel.  Knock yourself out.  The smart comics play the game and get paid.  Tosh is smart.

Well this sure is depressing isn’t it.  Basically what you are saying is that money controls the comedy business?  Yes I am.  And it is our fault.

Long ago comics sold themselves out for money.  It use to be high paying gigs.  Now it is $50 gigs.  Comedians are dumb and selfish for the most part.  There was a time in the 80’s when comedy was booming and comedians had the power.  Everybody wanted a comedy club in their town.  Those comics tried to have a union but it failed.  Because comics are assholes.  Fast forward to now.  Comics are still assholes but now they are desperate and broke.  Most comics jump through hoops to take a gig they break even on.  Comedians are not going to make a stand now.  Not a nobody like me.  Not a somebody like Tosh.  We all apologize when we screw up.  We apologize when we don’t screw up.  We just need to make the money.  We are like society.  We just need to get paid and not cause a stir.  Tosh is not a hero.  He is like you.  A pussy that caved.  Ouch that hurts.  But that woman…how dare she go public with it!  Jealous are you because now people know her story and they don’t know yours?  She is smarter and more opportunistic then you.  She is playing the game.  So go on your facebook and your twitter and defend Tosh.  Call the woman names.  You have no skin in the game.  Your skin was sold out a generation ago.  Tosh and this woman.  They played the game.  If you are smart you will play the game and maybe make some money.  Or you can be a facebook vigilante.  As for me, I plan on working on a bit about sodomy, downs syndrome, homosexuals and black people.  I hope somebody records it.  I hope they post it on Youtube.  I hope it goes viral.  I’m ready to play the game.

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