Well Joe still has a bit of an issue with his tum tum. He wants to take it easy with what he eats today. Of course, he had none of these thoughts the night before when he drank booze and beer and whatever else was presented to him and finished off the night with a very cheesy burger from Wendy’s. I really should be nicer to Joe. I mean he is a traveling Rite Aid who eats straight up cholesterol and smokes cigars. He is either straight out of the 1920s (just a few years before most of his references) or is personally challenging his body to take him. Ballsy move on his part but I think he will be around for awhile. Even worms know eating him can’t be healthy for them.
We have a nice 3 hour drive ahead of us. As I said, Joe wants eat a bit healthier today so that means his order of cow will be served by the Cracker Barrel. I think they had an issue with discrimination a few years back with black people. You’ll be happy to know that the black folks here are unconcerned. I guess Chick-fil-a will be ok too. America…we’re pissed! But I really like your food so I will wag my finger in disgust while I shove this food down my gullet.
As you leave a Cracker Barrel you will notice they have a pile of crap that they want you to buy. Just all sorts of random things. Picture Pip’s hoard but with a few less cats. We are walking past a for sale shirt that says, “there’s no crying in football.” I say to Joe, “unless you are a 10 year old at Penn State.” The lady who works there laughs and then catches herself and feels terrible about laughing at that and shoos us out of the Cracker Barrel. I am pleased with myself.
We get to the hotel (a Super 8) and they don’t have our reservation. The lady asks if I am sure I am suppose to be there. I said lady if I was going to make this up wouldn’t I go to the Hampton Inn instead? I don’t think she found that funny. This happens way too often where the club either forgets to make a reservation or changes the hotel at the last second. This is the last thing I want to deal with after hours of driving. It really does piss me off. The hotel tries to track down the owner but he is MIA. Finally I call the agency and they track the owner down and get it straightened out. More and more I focus on the details and those around me do not. It is maddening.
We get to the gig at 7:30 for an 8:00 show. Nobody is there. Turns out the show is suppose to start at 8:45. I hate when agencies give me a wrong start time. They do it to make sure we get there on time. It is maddening because I make sure I am early and now I have extra time to sit around and do nothing. There is no advertisement for comedy anywhere…except one little piece of white paper outside that says “comedy.” Well at least they aren’t killing many trees for these shows.
The club is right on one of the Great Lakes. We walk around town and there are statues of pirates everywhere. When I think of a lake I think of pirates. All these towns do it. Somewhere there is the first lake town that did the pirate motif and the rest copied them. What a bunch of hacks.
The MC goes up and was brief. Tried to make cancer funny. Quite a challenge for somebody doing comedy less then a year. Quite a challenge for anybody. Yeah, that was not his best moment of the short set. Then we have a guest spot and I become witness to the worst act I have ever seen. Was it the material? Couldn’t tell you. Was it the stage presence? No. His attire? No. He sounded like the Tazmanian Devil gargling with a mixture of acid, dildos, and razor blades in his mouth. You could not understand one thing this guy says. This pisses me off. It is disrespectful to what I do to just throw anybody up there on a professional show. Worse, it is insulting to the paying customer. They sit through this and it gets uncomfortable and awkward. He is an older black man so they will be respectful. If it was me they would yell terrible things and they would be right. Not everybody should be able to take the mic and be able to try and entertain people. Rule number one of comedy. Make sure people can understand you. Up until now I did not know that needed to be explained. Ugh!
Joe goes up and has his best set of the tour. It is only his second show but they are an older group so this is right in Joe’s wheel house.
Joe instructs the MC to introduce me as a hack. The MC listens. I don’t care as I call the MC a future hack. As for Joe, well he doesn’t get enough laughs to be considered a hack. Zing! Take that stupid!!!
I have a fun time with them. They get a little sensitive with the race stuff but I plow through. I don’t worry about other people’s hang ups. I tell them I am not apologizing for anything. More and more I don’t give a shit. I tell them the story about what happened at the Cracker Barrel with the football shirt. It gets a big laugh. I might have a new bit. If so then this trip is a success.
Crowd loved the show. Staff loved the show. Joe refused to jump in this lake as well. Meh two out of three ain’t bad.