Just a minute now, bucko. Believe it or not, I kind of understand your intense libido.  You need to clear the pipes now and then. It helps you relax, helps you sleep. That’s understandable, and really, just a natural part of life.  Didn’t expect to hear that, did you?

Now here’s the tricky part.  You cannot, and I mean all caps CANNOT do that in public.  No. Pack Mr. Pud back into your panties until you are alone. COMPLETELY alone.  Or with a consenting adult – even a paid adult. Whomever you chose – and not just based on proximity.

See, I don’t believe for one minute that the woman stuck sitting next to you in a plane, a complete stranger, said, “Go for it”, or whatever phrase you decided to use to gaslight her.  As if she was kinky and gave you the green light to masterbate next to her, and then lick the frosting off of the beaters. (Side note, both hands – kind of impressive.  Not going to lie.)

Women who are harassed, assaulted, etc.  Are sick to death of being gaslighted with phrases like, “I thought you were into it”, “I thought you were kinky”, “You know you wanted it”. EW. THIS is part of the reason why many women don’t report this kind of incident, because it becomes he said/she said, and there are still enough people around who will default to the old trope that if a woman doesn’t immediately scream and claw and bite, that “she wanted it” and changed her mind.

Thank goodness for cell phone cameras.

Now wait until you are home to whip it out and have your special moment. No stranger wants to fly next to your shenanigans.

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