I admit it. I have penis privilege. My penis allows me to do things that women only dream of. Ok well maybe one thing that women dream of that doesn’t involve surgery or a trip to the “book store” on the other side of the tracks. I’m talking about peeing standing up. We can pee standing. We can play sink the ship in the bowl. We can go on the side of the road. The penis is a wonderful thing that you ladies don’t have. Well you still do not have one but now there is a product that makes it a bit easier to pee on the go. It is called Go Girl. You cozy up tp this device and it is a funnel that takes your pee from your body and into a container of your choosing. Seems good in theory right?
Well I’m not sure. First of all you have to create a seal between it and your body. I don’t want to use my body to create a seal. It’s bad enough during the summer when my thighs create a seal with a leather car seat. I’m also pretty sure it is not as easy as you would think to create the seal. There may be video tutorials online to show you but now your search history just got all kinked up and who knows what will show up in your “other things you may like” advertisements.
Also, you have to carry that around. I mean it’s small and it fits in your purse but we all know you ladies empty out your purse in a mad dash to find your lip gloss and the Go Girl will come tumbling out. Do you really want to explain what that is? My first reaction is you are nasty. No matter how much you clean it you are still walking around with your pee remnants in your purse. It is mingling with your chapstick, gum, loose change, etc. Gross!
But you say guys are gross too. Yeah. Duh! I didn’t say we aren’t but that is why I am into girls. Well one of the reasons. Someone in this relationship should be presentable to the world and if you are walking around with your Go Girl that means I have to be the presentable one. Let’s be real, it is very rare that the guy is the presentable one in a relationship. If you are both outcasts that society shuns you will become recluses. Slowly you will lose the human to human interaction. You may grow bitter. Next thing you know you are on top of a building picking people off with your high powered sniper rifle all because you wanted to pee in a more convenient fashion. Is human life worth that? Couldn’t you just line the toilet with toilet paper and pop a squat you animal? Now you have not only pee on your hands but blood too. I hope you are happy. I can’t with you. Girl go. No I mean it. Go Girl.
We will discuss this and more on Tuesday’s show at 6:30 PM Est.