I was not planning on writing the blog I am writing now. I was looking for something that was going to be the topic in the documents section of my computer when I found the blog I wrote last year on this very date titled “Should I kill myself? Or cut the lawn?”
What a difference a year makes, this time last year I was at the lowest point in my life. I realized that after a twenty year relationship my marriage was over and I did not how to come to terms with my wife that it was. I also felt trapped and suffocated by it with no way out.
That day last year I was fifteen minutes away from calling it a life. I sat down and had a smoke and decided for many reasons it was not the way to go.
All the details from that day are on the blog section of our Davin’s Den page. That day was a haunting day for me, but a milestone day as well because it forced me to focus on the positive and start to change things for the better. If you know anyone that is in that dire situation get them help I was able to turn around, many like my Father were not. And things will get better, it’s not just words.
Shortly after that day I did address our situation with my wife and we did agree that we do care for each other but we can no longer be husband and wife. A lot of things were said and disclosed by each of us, but the weight that was lifted off of my shoulders was tremendous and that weight was the catalyst for my depression.
I also renewed something that I had and lost, If not for it I would be nothing right now. It is the most precious thing in my life and has showed me how to live it again and I will never let it go.
This time last year I was smoking a pack a day of Marlboro black labels. I never thought I was going to be able to quit, I did, and cold turkey. I have not had a cigarette or wanted one in almost nine months.
My play which I and my partner Cammy have been working on for twelve years “The Weight of the world” has been a labor of love of ours but stalled. Even though it was finished we did not know where to take the next step. We found that person and we film the teaser video next week.
Even watching my friends has been inspirational as well. Anthony Cumia was co-host of the Opie and Anthony show for just about twenty years and on July 3rd of last year he was unfairly fired from Sirius XM over tweets that were not connected with the show.
He got a raw deal, but a month later he rose from the ashes. He started the Anthony Cumia show and his own network as well. In this past year the show has become a huge success, grown leaps and bounds, and they are weeks away from a second studio in New York City.
I witnessed last night another reason to follow your dreams, Last Night I went to a club to watch these phenomenal musicians from a pod cast show called Band Geek play. My long time friend and band leader Joe Cumia had played with them on their show as well. Also in attendance was our Idols from Blue Oyster Cult, Eric Bloom and Buck Dharma Roeser. I have been a roadie for Joe and then his keyboard player since 1978 and in the course of those years there was a Blue Oyster Cult song that Joe played and mastered called “Bucks Boogie”. It was one of Joe’s signature songs that he would play at a lot of our gigs .Literally for decades we used to sit and say wouldn’t it be cool if you ever got to play it and go note for note with Buck Dharma. I watched it last night. To Watch Joe and Buck playing next to each other and trading licks was surreal and amazing at the same time. I was so happy for Joe and I know that’s one off the bucket list.
As for our radio show I hope to see the same dreams, Davin, Pip, and Myself work hard and we have had, and still have obstacles in front of us, but we believe we will get there.
Dreams come true if you work hard enough and don’t back down and don’t give up.
Life will hand you bad breaks, but please know in those low points there is hope and it will get better just keep going and follow the best path that will take you to happiness.
I am glad I cut the grass that day a year ago today.