On February second I became legally separated, it would have been twenty years in October we would have been married, but it just did not pan out.
Except for Football in the twelfth grade I have never have quit anything. I believe you try and do everything you can before you give up and in the past three years I have realized that I have.
I find it funny that the day was on Ground Hogs day as I will probably be reliving this again and again.
I have a queen bed, I shopped and shopped for it, found it, and it is like being on a cloud very nice,,,, I don’t sleep on it anymore,,,, I now sleep in the guest room on the single mattress, yes the guest room mattress the one you were going to throw out but said “hey, let’s put it in the guest room so that any guest that sleeps on it will be ready to leave the next day” I wake up that slab every morning now and have to put on one of those heat patch things that Shaq sells on TV, and as Shaq says “ When the pain is gone it aint they no more”.
The upside of this is I no longer have to sleep in a bed that has groceries or other assorted things on it, I also get to sleep in a room that is dark and quiet without some lunatic running in and out all night long turning lights on and off until they finally get tuckered out at six am, For almost twenty years it was like being married to Dracula.
My wife has been very territorial but now it’s been a bigger problem as she claims everything is hers, my bedroom, My TV, I am happy to help so when the Oil burner broke down this week I was happy to give it to her.
As much as the prospect of being on my own is a little scary, I have been essentially on my own since I was twelve when my Mom had to go to work in New York City.
I was alone this weekend as the soon to be EX went to stay in Jersey. I loved every minute of it. I came home from my gig in Connecticut at 2:30 in the morning and I was able to sit in my kitchen alone and in peace without every light on and eat my supper. I was able to sleep back in my comfy bed for the night and I was able to get up in the morning and do my chores because I did not have to wait for someone to get up at around twelve noon so I would not disturb them.
The part of this that is scary is per the separation agreement we have to put the house up for sale in June, I get anxiety attacks because there is so much to do and my wife has not lifted a finger to help. Which is bad enough because as I am getting older I am realizing that things take longer to do than when I was twenty five.
What keeps me going is I am going to set up my life the way I wanted to when I was thirty, I wanted a small condo, and I wanted to travel as much as I could, but due to the sudden death of my Mother, renovating the house after she passed, meeting my wife and her convincing me to stay, that dream never happened.
Another thing that never happened was my entertainment career progressing the way I wanted. I have always been saddled down to my house and I could not take the risks that my contemporaries have and even though I have been relatively successful in comedy and we are progressing with our radio show. My acting career has been nonexistent as I have had to stop going on auditions.
It took three years to come to this point and I am fully ready to go through one of the roughest portions of my life since the passing of my Mom.
These are the necessary steps that I need to take to change my life and now that the wheels are in motion and I am on my way, I take this leap of faith and hope these wheels don’t run me over in the process.
This blog is over but the saga is not, stay tuned kids.